Few weeks ago, a woman who just so happen to attend the same workshop as me, asked me questions like “how old are you?”, “are you married?, “How many years have you been married?”, and “do you have any children?”. A complete stranger felt the need to ask me a series of personal questions, that didn’t go the way she wanted, because when I told her that I have no children (when I have been married for 6 years), she felt the need to help me explain that I still want to enjoy the “honeymoon period” of my marriage. And when I said, “No, that is not why I do not have children (with an annoyed tone)”. She was speechless. She shocked and somewhat disbelief.
Why did she, a complete stranger, felt the need to explain on my behalf me why don’t I have children when I have been married for 6 years!!!! Does she see that not having children is abnormal? unnatural? not fulfilling the role of a woman?
Few months ago, about the same thing happened. But this time it was a man. A man whom I bumped into the second time of social gathering, told me that I should have children, the reason is that his perspective of life changed after he has his son, whom by the way, has two helpers that assist the mother to care for him. “The change” is one of the many reasons why I don’t want to have the great responsibility.
The reason why I have chosen not to have children is that I have a great fear of the pregnancy process, the bodily change that I might experience, the birth-giving process, the endless sleepless night, the frustration I might have for them when I should be loving them, the non-stop rat race of taking care of them and educating them, the violent games that I might prohibit them from playing, not providing enough for them, the kidnappers, the molesters, the pedophiles and many more that I can’t remember as of now.
Thank you very much to those who felt the need to give me advice on why I should have a baby, but no thanks. I do not need you to tell me what you think is missing from my life and how I should lead my life. Just as I do not tell you how you should lead your life.